I'll Never Tell

I'll Never Tell

By Catherine McKenzie

Twenty years ago, seventeen year-old Amanda Holmes was found bludgeoned in a rowboat at the MacAllister family’s Camp Macaw. No one was ever charged with the crime.

Now, after their parents’ sudden deaths, the MacAllister siblings return to camp to read the will and decide what to do with the prime real estate the camp occupies. Ryan needs to sell. Margaux hasn’t made up her mind. Mary believes in leaving well enough alone. Kate and Liddie—the twins—have opposing views. And Sean Booth, the groundskeeper, just hopes he still has a home when all is said and done.

But it’s more complicated than a simple vote. The will stipulates that until they unravel the mystery of what happened to Amanda, they can’t settle the estate. Any one of them could have done it, and each one is holding a piece of the puzzle. Will they work together to finally discover the truth, or will their secrets finally tear the family apart?

This one had an interesting premise and structure (I particularly appreciated the table of everyone's locations, especially when you realize that the characters themselves filled it out) but for me it fell apart a bit at the end.  We had like three "false alarms" of seeming to identify the attempted murderer and then realizing that no, it was actually someone else! At least twice (that I can remember off the top of my head), someone goes to confront the person they think is the murderer by themselves, and I mean, everyone's family is weird, but like, if my newly-realized half-brother was accused of murder and then suspiciously fled the scene, I would not then paddle out towards the deserted island where he decamped to have a heart-to-heart with him.  Although, to be fair, without any actual evidence, how are you going to call the police on that?

And to be honest, the whole half-brother thing didn't do much for me, I mean, they allude to the fact that their parents didn't seem to want any kids, so after having five of their own, they discover that Mr. MacAllister had a baby with a prostitute who is now like eight years old, and they just... act as surrogate family together?  Without any of the other kids (including the incredibly nosy one) finding out? Okay, Jan.  

I think there could have been a whole book on how creepy and dysfunctional Mr. MacAllister was: first with the secret baby having, and then the whole, "treat you like my son, and you are my son, but I won't acknowledge that and when I die, you'll get to fight over who inherits with my other son and all of my daughters, one of whom you want to bone" thing, and the the double whammy of both spying on all his children (with actual surveillance!) and enlisting his pseudo-son but actually his actual son to do the spying.  Phew.  Like, is Mr. MacAllister a psychopath?  I also didn't really follow the whole thing about how he assumed his son (Ryan) did it, and then the police did a DNA test, and somehow that cleared Ryan, but Mr. MacAllister didn't see the DNA test, so he still thought Ryan did it, but then somehow the DNA test was in his spy file after his death, so he had to have seen it at some point, but yadda yadda yadda.  

Finally, I hated the identity of the murderer.  You going to tell me that a fifteen year old girl bludgeoned a seventeen year old girl with a canoe paddle and then just like, sat on it for twenty years?  Clearly got her genes from the Mr. MacAllister side of the family.  I mean, they didn't even add that she was incredibly jacked or anything, to make it more realistic, although maybe the fact that she walked away from a horse-car crash that killed the driver of the car was supposed to be a clue that she was superhuman.  

I kid, I kid.  I did enjoy the lead-up to the denouement, it was a fun setting, and the number of characters was good - I didn't have any difficulty trying to keep anyone straight.  They were all easily distinguishable from the others, and each had their own little quirks.  It also got me thinking about what I'd do if, for example, I had five siblings and one of them murdered someone and then twenty years later committed suicide.  Like, do you say anything to the grieving family and tell them who did it?  Obviously here, the MacAllisters just... didn't say anything.  I mean, it is going to be hard to explain why you didn't say anything EARLIER about seeing a blonde girl whacking another, but that's sort of on you.  Amanda's parents deserve the same closure you all got.