One

 One

By Sarah Crossan

Grace and Tippi. Tippi and Grace. Two sisters. Two hearts. Two dreams. Two lives. But one body.

Grace and Tippi are conjoined twins, joined at the waist, defying the odds of survival for sixteen years. They share everything, and they are everything to each other. They would never imagine being apart. For them, that would be the real tragedy.

But something is happening to them. Something they hoped would never happen. And Grace doesn’t want to admit it. Not even to Tippi.

How long can they hide from the truth—how long before they must face the most impossible choice of their lives?

 

One is basically spoken word poetry about being a conjoined twin. Presumably Crossan has researched the topic so I'll trust in her characterization of Grace. While it seems unfathomable to me to want to remain physically attached to someone else, Crossan does a good job of explaining why, to Grace and Tippi, the question would be so offensive. The sisters aren't bad people, they're twins, and what's more natural than staying with your twin? And what kind of alternative is there? At one point, Grace overhears someone saying they can't imagine anything worse. Obviously hyperbole, but as Grace says, there are so many things worse than this, and brings it back to the idea that to be with a loved one forever is not the worst fate.  It reminds me that people are infinitely adaptable. What may be intolerable to someone used to living independently can be eminently reasonable to someone intertwined from birth.  

We're presented with the twins' growing pains over a period of a few short months: as they're unable to afford homeschooling and now have to attend (private) school for the first time.  They make friends, they watch their father wallow in alcohol, their sister slowly starve herself and their mother lose her job.  Grace develops a crush and a heart problem and the sisters have a choice to make. Several, in fact. 

It's a fast read, for all that it's 400 pages, since it is again, like poetry, half pages lost (another reviewer pointed out that the typeface changes alignment from left to center after the twins have surgery, which is a really cool detail) and trailing thoughts. Each "chapter" is basically a poem, and most are <2 pages. And that's fine, since the subject matter is pretty heavy. Prose would have taken ages to finish. 

 

Because of the style though, the book feels less rooted, more dreamlike. For all that Tippi is the person who is closest to Grace, I feel like we barely talk to her the entire book. We're at a crossroads in the twins' lives, which makes for more interesting dilemmas, but contrariwise, I'm not sure that the sisters' relationship feels as developed as it needs to be to support the climactic separation. And the sisters have to consider death and mortality when they consider the surgery options - but there's very little wrestling with that idea too. They make a couple of bucket lists and that's about it. Again, is that realistic? I don't know. As a sixteen year old, I was pretty confident I wouldn't die, but then again, I wasn't conjoined with anyone with a limited life expectancy. 

This feels like an incredibly interesting topic, nicely executed, but also lightly touched.  I don't know that it strikes as deeply as it ought to, considering.

50: A Book That Features A Character With Chronic Pain

Curious Tides

Curious Tides 

By Pascale Lacelle

Emory might be a student at the prestigious Aldryn College for Lunar Magics, but her healing abilities have always been mediocre at best—until a treacherous night in the Dovermere sea caves leaves a group of her classmates dead and her as the only survivor. Now Emory is plagued by strange, impossible powers that no healer should possess.

Powers that would ruin her life if the wrong person were to discover them.

To gain control of these new abilities, Emory enlists the help of the school’s most reclusive student, Baz—a boy already well-versed in the deadly nature of darker magic, whose sister happened to be one of the drowned students and Emory’s best friend. Determined to find the truth behind the drownings and the cult-like secret society she’s convinced her classmates were involved in, Emory is faced with even more questions when the supposedly drowned students start washing ashore— alive —only for them each immediately to die horrible, magical deaths.

And Emory is not the only one seeking answers. When her new magic captures the society’s attention, she finds herself drawn into their world of privilege and power, all while wondering if the truth she’s searching for might lead her right back to Dovermere…to face the fate she was never meant to escape.

Curious Tides can be summed up in one word: it's boring. It was boring when I read the first few chapters, it was boring when I was halfway through, it was mildly interesting at the end, and when I finished it and read the teaser for the next book in the series, I found myself completely uninterested in following up. In fact, not only do I keep forgetting that I've finished it, I've been forgetting that I've read it at all. In fact, when I was writing this review, I kept typing the title as "Cursed Tides" because I was getting it confused with another book.

If you look through other reviews there's two common complaints: one, even by those who ended up liking it, is that it's very slow to start. I agree. Somehow the author has taken a scenario in which our protagonist washes up on shore with four dead bodies and made it ... uncompelling. 

Second, people find Emory, our ostensible hero, annoying. I also agree with this, and with the person who says Emory comes across super young, and possibly was aged up to 19 just so a sex scene could be included (although I have no idea why, since that was also boring to read). Emory is the kind of person who somehow inherits a mysterious power that we're told is incredibly dangerous and could lead to her destruction and the death of other around her, like a bomb, and when her friend Baz, whom she's harassed into helping train her surreptitiously, tells her to call it a night, she tells him he's being too cautious and she just starts using it willy-nilly. And it's all okay! Absolutely nothing happens as a result of this idiotic decision. She won't tell Baz crucial information about that night, but shares everything with Kieran, because he...keeps looking at her meaningfully, I guess.

I don't know if Emory was meant to be as annoying as she was, but she consistently uses Baz (and his crush on her) to get him to do things for her, she beelines for this secret society despite secret societies always being bad news, falls hard for this Kieran kid who is clearly using her, assumes her 'friend' Penelope has ratted on her to the dean even though Penelope literally knows nothing, MOPES about every damn thing, even the fact that her best friend got invited to this secret society and didn't tell her, like she isn't doing the exact same damn thing, and at no point is she written like these are the actions of an asshole. Does she get an indefinite pass because her friend disappeared after doing a stupid ritual for a secret society? Because Romie was Baz's sister and he didn't come across as an asshole. It's like the author has to have Emory do all this for the book's plot, but then didn't want to have her be an antihero, so instead we all have to pretend her actions are forgiveable.

The third thing I didn't like about the book, which wasn't necessarily something others agreed with me on, was the magic system.  Lacelle sets it up with four moons (full, waxing, waning, and new) and each of these has like four "specialties", like soultending and wardcrafting and purifying and lightkeeping and dreaming and unraveling and memorists and reaping and amplifying and wordsmiths and sowing and glamouring and darkbearing and shadow guiding and healers and seers, and then there's also eclipses which also have separate powers and now we're at, like 20+ random powers (and which is which and who is what are RELEVANT to the plot, so you gotta try to remember all this shit) PLUS there's some fairy tale book about the powers being taken over by shadow which is also important except that it was introduced in the first chapter with all this other stuff and I promptly forgot. So the whole villain's motivation is like, making a path between worlds and undoing stuff about the four original moon gods, but none of it ever made much sense to me. There's tides and water magic and fake magic that comes from siphoned off stuff from people who have Collapsed, but also apparently after you collapse you're super strong but this is a complete secret. Anyway, there was a lot to keep straight and I had no interest in doing so.

What else can I say? It's already forgotten.

16: A Book Set In Or Around A Body Of Water

Whiteout

Whiteout

By: Angie Thomas, Ashley Woodfolk, Nicola Yoon, Dhonielle Clayton, Nic Stone, and Tiffany D. Jackson

Atlanta is blanketed with snow just before Christmas, but the warmth of young love just might melt the ice in this novel of Black joy, and cozy, sparkling romance—by the same unbeatable team of authors who wrote the New York Times bestseller Blackout!

As the city grinds to a halt, twelve teens band together to help a friend pull off the most epic apology of her life. But will they be able to make it happen, in spite of the storm?

No one is prepared for this whiteout. But then, we can't always prepare for the magical moments that change everything.

I chose this mostly because I'd enjoyed Blackout (or vaguely remember enjoying it) and I figured this would be an easy, enjoyable read. 

No. 

I hated this book. I have no idea how the same authors, using the same concept, could write something so much worse that I had to force myself to finish it, but somehow they managed. The book is a series of interconnecting stories, loosely grouped around the primary couple (Stevie and Sola's) efforts to reconcile after a fight and everyone else helping out in some way. 

Problem #1 is the Stevie and Sola were the worst. And they behaved stupidly too!  After Stevie screws up, Sola insists on Stevie apologizing by midnight, but then refuses to look at any messages or phone calls from her. I assume it was necessary for dramatic reasons, but when you tell someone you're going to break up with them unless they apologize to you, ignoring their calls makes no fucking sense. On the other hand, Stevie is the one who showed up loopy from pain meds to her family's dinner, got kicked out for being so rude, and then hassled everyone she's ever met to do a bunch of favors for her last minute. And she responds to Sola's request that she apologize to her family members by... waiting at a baseball stadium after she has a friend shoot a bunch of drones in the sky? Is there a reason Stevie couldn't be waiting at Sola's house instead? It's not like Stevie's the one running the drones. She just happened to know someone willing to subvert their own work project for Stevie's demands.  And aside from the unlikelihood that all her friends are so incredibly desperate to help this young couple get back together that they literally trek through a blizzard to buy a bunch of junk like legos and stuffed animals and college rally wear, there's the whole "time Stevie used her mom's ID to get into the aquarium at night so she could have semi-public sex with her girlfriend" which is played like an incredibly sweet moment instead of the kinda gross and definitely inappropriate set-up it is. That's her mom's workplace, and I assume they've got cameras there. But young love, right? There's also allusions to Stevie not wanting to be called a girl but in Sola's chapter, she keeps referring to Stevie as "her" so that felt unexplained and confusing as well.

The other issue is that we start off with a bunch of the weaker storylines, so it puts you on the wrong footing right away. The second couple (Kaz and Porsha) we're introduced to are the aforementioned lego seekers, which includes a boy who has been bending over backwards for this girl, and the girl who apparently hasn't noticed this at all until a couple of mall-goers point it out to her. You want us to root for these guys? If they can't even communicate on an issue as commonplace as coming to dinner, how am I supposed to expect they'll ever be a functional couple? Plus this story had the most obnoxious use of slang, bruh. It's going to be dated within 12 months.

Then we've got another couple (ER and Van) who apparently are on a "break" but for reasons that seem hazy and irrelevant since, at the end of their chapter, the ex-/girlfriend says they didn't behave any differently when they were broken up anyway, so it was moot. Um, yay, I guess? The primary conflict in this chapter is because they run into another of the narrator's exes at the airport, which she acts like is the worst thing in the world apparently, but honestly I have very little sympathy for the narrator, since most of the conflict comes up because she picks up the phone to talk to her ex and then starts lying to her girlfriend about it. 

There's some cuter stories later, but my patience was already gone. Maybe I was just in a different mood when I read Blackout, but Whiteout got on all my nerves with how annoying these people were being in their relationships. So much anxiety, so little confidence! I know these are supposed to be teenagers and thus, idiots, but  it was really grating how many of the stories were some version of "this person I'm with isn't very considerate of me, but now that we've confessed our deep-seated love for each other, everything is great!"

I disliked Whiteout so much, I am now retroactively reconsidering my opinion of Blackout: maybe it's just as bad and I just didn't notice it when I read it last time. Aside from the varying levels of tolerance I had about the relationships, the logic of the stories was all over the place. There's the whole "why not just wait at Sola's house thing instead of making her dad drive her to the stadium" but also Sola digs an entire grave in her backyard to bury some lego flower set that Stevie made her...in the middle of a blizzard while wearing a dress because it reminded her of good times with Stevie. Sure, why not. And the idea that the gift shop at the aquarium just so happens to still be open at 10:30 pm (!!) so Ava and Mason's story can be slotted in there is ridiculous. {This is the same aquarium where Stevie told her mom she was picking up files from her mom's office for her, but instead planned a sexy picnic sex-surprise for her girlfriend. Do we think Ava and Mason know that's why Stevie is making them get a commemorative jellyfish gift?} And Jimi is busking outside a huge theater in the middle of a blizzard even though ostensibly, she's there to reunite with her bandmates and record a song? Outside? Because when Teo/Lil Kinsey shows up, it sounds like she wasn't even expecting to go inside at any point.

I was going to say something like, the best thing about this, is that I will not have to read it again, but that seems unnecessarily harsh. It wasn't terrible, but it definitely wasn't for me. 

47: A Book Of Interconnected Short Stories

Raybearer

Raybearer

By Jordan Ifueko

Nothing is more important than loyalty. But what if you've sworn to protect the one you were born to destroy?

Tarisai has always longed for the warmth of a family. She was raised in isolation by a mysterious, often absent mother known only as The Lady. The Lady sends her to the capital of the global empire of Aritsar to compete with other children to be chosen as one of the Crown Prince's Council of 11. If she’s picked, she'll be joined with the other Council members through the Ray, a bond deeper than blood. That closeness is irresistible to Tarisai, who has always wanted to belong somewhere. But The Lady has other ideas, including a magical wish that Tarisai is compelled to obey: Kill the Crown Prince once she gains his trust. Tarisai won't stand by and become someone’s pawn--but is she strong enough to choose a different path for herself? With extraordinary world-building and breathtaking prose, Raybearer is the story of loyalty, fate, and the lengths we're willing to go for the ones we love.

 

I started out comparing this to The Ear, the Eye, and the Arm, because it was about a sheltered kid who goes out into the larger world and winds up getting into adventures, and then we skipped forward several years and that fell by the wayside, and then we took a trip into the bush and I got Black Leopard, Red Wolf vibes, but only slightly, since that book is definitely was more adult than Raybearer, and I guess then I got kind of like, Tamora Pierce vibes? Not that any of that is bad!  And frankly, it didn't feel derivative the way that Children of Blood and Bone did (very strong Avatar: The Last Airbender plot) even though it was vaguely reminiscent of all of them. 

So there's been a push for more diverse cultures and settings in sci-fi and fantasy (Black Sun is a good example of that) and while I appreciate that this was not set in faux-medieval Europe, I did feel, at times, that the broad geographic and cultural empire of Aritsar felt very "pan-African" at times to the detriment of the setting.  We clearly see East Asian and South Asian influences and as a result, it felt more like the other provinces kind of melded together as "African".  I know there's a lot of diaspora in current Nigeria, where the author's background is, but I just keep thinking of that old chestnut, which is the more specific you can be in telling the story, the more general the appeal.  Would keeping it tighter geographically and culturally have given it more depth?

There was also commentary on social justice and law reform which seemed influenced by current events. I initially got very excited, as it seemed like we would get into real debates on social ills and quick fixes and unseen causes when there was (a) the initial question about certain provinces not performing well on the mind tests, and two answers of: are they just bad at it in general, or is it because alphabetically, their names are last called for food and they're hungry, and then (b) Tarisai's attempt to create a child foster care and protective services process, butting up against the practical concerns of: money.  But after those two early examples, it seemed like we just went straight into: the villains make bad laws and the heroes make good laws.  [Spoiler alert: I started reading the second book and I'm only a chapter in so far, and I am incredibly disappointed with how the book starts, Tarisai basically deciding that if she likes the person, then they should get off scott-free, never mind that they committed murder in cold blood - for very little reason!  A very bad murder! And Tarisai is the high judge, who is trying to create an equitable system!  The second book treats her breaking this person out of prison as like, a hijink for the greater good.  If that doesn't get addressed, I'm going to have a very different impression of the story. And further spoiler - I read one chapter and then just stopped, for like, months.  It was not beguiling me.]

In hindsight, I like this book while I was reading it, and I was excited about the second, but then, after getting only a little ways into the second, the problems I had with it were exacerbated and ultimately I just wasn't excited about continuing the story, although I definitely will, for the challenge.  Tarisai has a childish outlook and approach that works fine in the beginning, but begins to be grating as we get further along and she should be more mature.  But I do like the setting, and the storyline, and I appreciate the familial relationships that the Raybearer and the council present, although again, it's one of those things that you kind of go, "How did they ever succeed in erasing the second Raybearer in the first place?" in terms of plausibility.  Some suspension of disbelief is required.

 

44: A Duology (Part 1)

 

Cemetery Boys

Cemetery Boys

By Aiden Thomas

When his traditional Latinx family has problems accepting his true gender, Yadriel becomes determined to prove himself a real brujo. With the help of his cousin and best friend Maritza, he performs the ritual himself, and then sets out to find the ghost of his murdered cousin and set it free.

However, the ghost he summons is actually Julian Diaz, the school's resident bad boy, and Julian is not about to go quietly into death. He's determined to find out what happened and tie off some loose ends before he leaves. Left with no choice, Yadriel agrees to help Julian, so that they can both get what they want. But the longer Yadriel spends with Julian, the less he wants to let him leave.

 

This one was cute enough, although there isn't anything in it that isn't telegraphed from the first quarter of the book.  Yadriel finds a ghost the same night his cousin mysteriously dies, and neither body can be found; not to mention the jaguar claws of ultra-human sacrifice for ultimate power are missing? It doesn't take a genius to put it together. 

I was a little disappointed it takes place in East LA - for some reason I was thinking it took place in Mexico, and I don't know why that makes such a difference, but honestly LA is oddly flat for me as a setting (it's not specific to Cemetery Boys, I don't really get any entertainment that's set there).  

There's certainly enough Spanish in it (and untranslated too, so monolinguists just get to guess at some of the interplay) and the details about Dia de Muertos are thoroughly and lovingly described. And the romance is cute enough, and the main character isn't dumb for plot reasons, or obnoxious or anything like that.  I just... found myself skimming slightly, to get to the action at the end.  One of those things where, since you know so early how the big reveal and denouement will go, all the pit stops along the way start to feel superfluous.  I did appreciate (if not "enjoy") that the author switches to another POV when the main character is potentially dead.  Every little bit of suspense helps!

Yadriel, the main character, is trans, which I somehow managed to not know until after I started reading it, even though it's right in the description and I swear I read that multiple times before checking the book out.  It does impact the plot, since the whole thing hinges on the idea that Yadriel can use the male brujx powers instead of the female, although I still kind of wished that Yadriel didn't dwell so much on it.  I will give him a pass though, since teenagers the world over care way too much about other people's opinions.  I appreciated that Julian was like, no hangups here, dude.  Man, I think I'm just tired of YA right now.  I'm old, and I don't have time for melodramatic nonsense about accepting yourself and finding love.  Give me more no-nonsense heroines, like what's her name in The Alice Network (no, not the modern day one, the cranky old spy).  

28: A Book Set During a Holiday

Aurora Rising

Aurora Rising

By Aime Kaufman and Jay Kristoff

The year is 2380, and the graduating cadets of Aurora Academy are being assigned their first missions. Star pupil Tyler Jones is ready to recruit the squad of his dreams, but his own boneheaded heroism sees him stuck with the dregs nobody else in the academy would touch . . .

A cocky diplomat with a black belt in sarcasm
A sociopath scientist with a fondness for shooting her bunkmates
A smart-ass tech whiz with the galaxy's biggest chip on his shoulder
An alien warrior with anger-management issues
A tomboy pilot who's totally not into him, in case you were wondering

And Ty's squad isn't even his biggest problem--that'd be Aurora Jie-Lin O'Malley, the girl he's just rescued from interdimensional space. Trapped in cryo-sleep for two centuries, Auri is a girl out of time and out of her depth. But she could be the catalyst that starts a war millions of years in the making, and Tyler's squad of losers, discipline cases, and misfits might just be the last hope for the entire galaxy.

NOBODY PANIC.

 I can't tell if I'm getting grumpier as I get older, or if books are just not as good as they used to be (spoiler alert: it's definitely the former).  I wanted to like this one, I swear!  I was very much looking forward to it, and in fact was using it to get a break from two other books I thought I would like, but were moving much too slowly for me to enjoy. 

However.  There are few things more obnoxious than a band of teenagers who talk like they're in a television show written by adults, and manage to save the world because they are so extraordinarily talented but also they're misfits so no one knows how talented they are, and also somehow they're smarter than all the adults.  

I mean, we start promisingly, with the premise that only young folks' minds are malleable enough to endure the space Fold, so there's a school for young people.  But then to say, well, each crew will have one teenager who can engineer anything, and another one will be both medical and science expert, and also there's a teen diplomat, because why not, and apparently there's a fighter too, and each of them is somehow experts even though they've been in school from age 13-18, and frankly teenagers don't know how to do any job, let alone highly skilled, technical job which would be vastly easier with some life experience.  I mean, no knock on teenagers, but they're barely out of puberty, and they simply didn't have enough time to learn anything.  You can do a lot of things in science fiction, but 18 is still 18.

And it wasn't even that, which killed my enjoyment, or the fact that all of them employed such finely crafted sarcasm and quips you'd think they'd been to school for that for five years instead of whatever else... diplomacy, I guess, although there wasn't much of it displayed in the book.  

Nor was it that the teachers apparently smuggled this Aurora person on board without telling anyone, because... a team of misfit trainees who have no idea they're carrying a stowaway is the solution to a police investigation? No, not even that!

It was in fact, when (after witnessing a mass genocide almost in passing which is then never referred to again) they wind up on a disreputable "pirate" station which has... a world galactic-class museum!  Yes! With an aquarium and a gala for the public. What public, you may ask? Presumably the other pirates on station.  And why host a gala? I can assume because the rich and powerful gangster who owns all the art pieces wants to be fair and give random teenagers a chance to steal something.  Which they do. Because they're magically talented, in case you didn't know!  They can come up with gala ready clothes and a plan to infiltrate a genetically coded lock on less than 24 hours' notice. 

If you're getting the sense that I was not "along for the ride" you are correct.  I did not get into the spirit of things, I didn't just relax and enjoy the humor, I was not charmed.  It felt obnoxiously cutesy and trite and cliche, in an unironic way.  I felt like I'd read the evil plant story before, too.  It kind of echoed the Big Bad in the Murderbot novel, Network Effect.  

So the pilot is consumed by the plant and the rest of the kids manage to escape and the one decides she might date the elf after all, and I just couldn't bring myself to care.

8: A Book with a Protagonist Who Uses a Mobility Aid

 

These Witches Don't Burn

These Witches Don't Burn

By Isabel Sterling

Hannah's a witch, but not the kind you're thinking of. She's the real deal, an Elemental with the power to control fire, earth, water, and air. But even though she lives in Salem, Massachusetts, her magic is a secret she has to keep to herself. If she's ever caught using it in front of a Reg (read: non-witch), she could lose it. For good. So, Hannah spends most of her time avoiding her ex-girlfriend (and fellow Elemental Witch) Veronica, hanging out with her best friend, and working at the Fly by Night Cauldron selling candles and crystals to tourists, goths, and local Wiccans.

But dealing with her ex is the least of Hannah's concerns when a terrifying blood ritual interrupts the end-of-school-year bonfire. Evidence of dark magic begins to appear all over Salem, and Hannah's sure it's the work of a deadly Blood Witch. The issue is, her coven is less than convinced, forcing Hannah to team up with the last person she wants to see: Veronica.

While the pair attempt to smoke out the Blood Witch at a house party, Hannah meets Morgan, a cute new ballerina in town. But trying to date amid a supernatural crisis is easier said than done, and Hannah will have to test the limits of her power if she's going to save her coven and get the girl, especially when the attacks on Salem's witches become deadlier by the day. With everything she loves on the line, Hannah must confront this murderous villain before her coven--and any chance she has with the new girl--is destroyed.

I thought this would be more of a fun "real witches in Salem" and "getting over ex-girlfriend who you also have to work with" but this wasn't that much fun.   The description is the most fun part.  The story itself is a weird plot-driven teen "mystery", banging along hitting various cliches without really being satisfying at any point. 

To begin with, the whole break-up between Veronica and Hannah is never really described. Apparently the author wrote a separate short story that gets into it, but in These Witches, it basically drives most of the emotion of the first part of the book and we don't even know what happened.  No clue why blood witches are so bad (except that one hurt Hannah in revenge for something Veronica did), no clue why Veronica thinks Hannah broke up with her, while Hannah thinks Veronica initiated it, no clue why Veronica thinks they're going to get back together. 

And there's a bunch of incidents, which look really suspicious, but they all happen to be done by all different people, just a coincidence, nothing to worry about!  That goth kid kills the raccoon, Nolan throws the brick, Morgan wrote the glyphs and Barton is a witch hunter.  It feels like the author is trying so hard to misdirect people that they included all this stuff which actually just makes the fact that they're all supposedly unrelated even more glaring and weirdly unrealistic.  And it doesn't work, either, the witch hunter is obvious. 

PLUS, we're told that witches who reveal themselves to Regs are excommunicated and potentially executed, and YET, Veronica and Hannah are both out there spraying magic around like it's going out of style: put this fire out, put that fire out, increase this fire, use an honesty charm, escape from a submerged car. I'm sorry, I know teenagers are idiots, but surely if they were told (and legitimately believed) they could be killed for doing this stuff, I have to believe they'd be more circumspect.  It all just feels... cardboard-y, like someone's putting on a play of what this book should be, but there's a lack of structure behind it.  It's flimsy.  Anyway, it's totally readable, but I definitely started losing interest by the THIRD time Veronica insisted they they were getting back together (even though she was also banging someone else?) and Hannah bailed on Morgan for the FIFTH time, and insisted there was a blood witch around.  And as you can see, my irritation with the book only grew as I looked back on it.  

16: A Book About Witches

Strange the Dreamer & Muse of Nightmares

Strange the Dreamer

By Laini Taylor

 I keep wanting to call this Lazlo the Strange which makes more sense to me: "Strange" is just his last name, so the title sounds more foofaraw-y than it really is.  That's also a metaphor for the book itself. Strange the Dreamer is about a society trying to overcome its long nightmare while while the nightmares are still literally hanging over their heads.  If you didn't quite understand that, Sarai is called the Muse of Nightmares to really hammer the point home.  But long story short: this is a really interesting story, and the beginning was excellent, but the book is so long and in the middle part it's really just a lot of getting Lazlo and Sarai acquainted with what's going on in their respective spheres (and falling in love because of course) and the story drags until the very end, when there's a lot of action all at once and then we end in the middle of a scene.  Am I going to read the next one? Well, yeah, actually.  Was I planning on it up until like, the last five pages? NO.  It is what it is, but in point of fact, I do want to find out what happened to the two thousand god-babies, and see how Sarai and Lazlo will extricate themselves from Minya, Sarai's crazy sister. It's also a very picturesque book, what with the blue gods and big statue and salt flats and all, but - OH, I just remembered this: it is also very predictable.  I mean, who didn't know that Lazlo would be able to manipulate the mesarthrium, and be a god and that the kids were actually just tools of the gods themselves, and that the Godslayer and his wife would have some weird thing going on, and then Minya would control the ghost-Sarai?  It didn't really detract from the story, but again, when the readers know what's going to happen, making it not happen for hundreds of pages really makes things drag.

Muse of Nightmares

By Laini Taylor


I'm now in the unfortunate position of trying to write this review like, a year after I read the book, so it's going to be pretty vague!  That being said, I liked the second much more than I thought I would.  I wasn't even that sure I was going to read the second book after I finished the first, but I'm glad I did, even though it's not a series that I'll be buying for my shelves anytime soon.  The good news is that it did stick the landing, and things are basically resolved such that both the townies and the godkids are permanently separated, which is great, because their various traumas and PTSD made it almost a requirement.  No one can really heal while the giant alien ship of your oppressors is literally casting a permanent shadow over your town.  Did I think it made sense for the godkids to go haring off into the universe basically under the wisdom and guidance of a couple of teenagers? No, not really, but they seem like they're having a good time, so let's not dwell too much on how little any of them know about the worlds out there.  I'll just be happy that they're happy. 

Ten Second Reviews

The Devil in Music

By Kate Ross

Alas, we've come to the end of our series, and I am actually very disappointed that there won't be any more - this was a pleasant delight of a set.  As before, coincidences and lucky chances abound without alluding to them, and it's a very chunky book, but you just don't seem to mind any of that.  I may at some point get the whole set to sit down and enjoy.  I really couldn't say that these are the best books in the world, but I just really had a good time with them, and in the end, isn't that what matters?  Anyway, Julian Kestrel solves another (couple) murders, this time whilst on Lake Como, which did nothing to make me satisfied with my own little plot of land.  Truly the rich are to be envied.

My True Love Gave to Me: Twelve Holiday Stories

Edited by Stephanie Perkins

This was more of a hit or miss for me (which most anthologies are, despite my glowing review of How Long Til Black Future Month? and the, uh, next anthology, below).  It's definitely a YA & love/romance-y one, particularly at the start, which I guess I... wasn't expecting?  Now that I think about it, I think I just picked this one up in the library and didn't really look at reviews or anything, so... surprise! Here's my one sentence reviews:

• Midnights, by Rainbow Rowell: boring, nineteen year olds like each other after several years of being friends.  
• The Lady and the Fox, by Kelly Link: girl falls in love with weird guy she only sees at Christmas if it's snowing.  He's from like, three hundred years ago, so who knows how that culture shock is going to go but let's pretend they have a future together.
• Angels in the Snow, by Matt de la Pena: hispanic guy falls for white girl while he's housesitting at some rich person's place - not bad, but after the previous two, needed something stronger than this.
• Polaris is Where You'll Find Me, by Jenny Han: Um, what the heck did I just read? Young human girl raised up by Santa falls for an elf, but also has a thing where she tells lies about meeting a Scandinavian boy and also really wants to leave the North Pole. This feels like it ends on a cliffhanger, but it's crazy enough that I was starting to get into it.
• It's a Yuletide Miracle, Charlie Brown: Ah, here we run into our series second theme: depressed people.  It kinda came up with Angels in the Snow, and in this one, a young christmas tree salesman is picked up by, and rearranges the furniture for, a young lady whose father left her and her mother because they were his bigamist family.  Fun at the outset but a little too saccharine to finish.
• Your Temporary Santa, by David Levithan: another one about a depressed family, although I wasn't quite clear on what fatherly disaster had befallen this one - another abandonment I guess.  This was fine, less romance because the couple was already together, so it was just someone doing something nice, which is more of what I was looking for in this set.
• Krampuslauf, by Holly Black: trailer park girl invites a demon back to a party, and he turns a cheating boyfriend into a donkey.  Good times! Two thumbs up.
• What the Hell Have You Done, Sophie Roth? by Gayle Forman: lonely city girl gets picked up by black guy on her small town midwest college campus.  I think I gave this one more of a pass because the stories before were a bit better/different.  If this had been placed third or fourth in the book, whoa.
• Beer Buckets and Baby Jesus, by Myra McEntire: Juvenile delinquent and good girl fall for each other during mixed up Christmas Pageant process.  At least this was a little bit funnier than the other boy-meets-girl stories, but also more of the same.
• Welcome to Christmas, CA, by Kiersten White: young teen hates everyone in her small town, until she meets the new diner cook who knows what food everyone needs. I definitely thought that the cook was going to turn out to be like, an elf, or an angel, or some other supernatural being, but he was just another juvenile delinquent, but this one was my favorite by far, especially when she learns that her mother and de facto step-father have actually been scrimping and saving for her and her college fund (so obvious, but it's CHRISTMAS).  Sniff.
•  Star of Bethlehem, by Ally Carter: Young singing sensation switches places with Icelandic girl and flies to Oklahoma where she feels okay about singing Christmas Carols again. This one felt way too long, and I can't help but HATE the very end, where the local judge is telling people that apparently it would be pretty easy to undo the guardianship her manager has over her.  In favor of these people she met a week ago, I guess.  Mmmmhmmm, yeah. 
• The Girl Who Woke the Dreamer, by Laini Taylor: The Strange the Dreamer series has been on my list forever (I think I was waiting to see if more books in the series were coming out???) and this gave me the push to get it. I didn't want to read too closely in case there were spoilers for the book series, but the beginning is really interesting and well written, and it inspired me to check more books by her out, so what else do you want?

Nine Witch Tales

By Abby Kedabra

Man, I LOVED this book when I was growing up, some twenty-five years ago, so I bought an old copy online, and it does NOT disappoint, this book is wild. I really mostly remembered the first story, where the twelve horned witches come in to do some sewing and then send this woman on errands like, "fill up a bucket using this sieve".  But all of them are fun, and short enough you don't get tired of them: haha, the one about Kowashi's mother, who developed an appetite for eating fish, bones and all, and he whacks her on the head and realizes she's a witch demon cat, and then! Casually, at the very end it goes: "Not long after this, Kowashi discovered that the wicked cat had killed his real mother and buried her in the garden." And then it just ends. FIN.  MAJESTIC.  I LOVE IT. And the curious woman who uses the magical ointment and is dragged all over and then wakes up in a barn and gets fired because her employer thinks she's drunk, lol. There's comeuppances and escapes, and each story is a delightfully spooky and scary-but-not-too-scary tale.

 

Ten Second Reviews

Anya's Ghost, by Vera Brosgol

Anya could use a friend, but she wasn't expecting to find one at the bottom of the old well she fell into.  Emily has been there for 90 years - she's ready to get back out into the world, and her gratitude towards Anya knows no bounds.  Until Anya begins to realize that Emily may have been in the well for a reason - and Emily doesn't want to go back.  This one, like Be Prepared, takes inspiration from the author's life (although I assume all of the ghost stuff is made up).  Anya is a scholarship teenager at an expensive prep school, trying to navigate relationships, and Emily seems like the answer to a prayer, helping Anya with tests, tracking down the cute boy's class schedule - at first.  But when Anya doesn't like Emily's methods and tries to distance herself from her, Emily threatens even more destruction  - this time on Anya's family.  I don't know if it's the inclusion of ghosts, but this one felt slimmer than Be Prepared, more like a short story than a novel.  It also seemed like it ended really abruptly.  It seemed like the last scene (when Anya and her class are outdoors) was supposed to be connected somehow to Emily, but I couldn't figure out why (are they just out beautifying things? Did Anya tell people where to find Emily's bones? What is it?) and it seems like everything just wraps up really tidily.  While still entertaining, definitely not my pick for Brosgol's finest.

Trading in Danger, by Elizabeth Moon

Kylara Vatta, daughter of one of the great trade and shipping families, has been sent home from the military academy in disgrace.  Her father arranges a new job for her - taking an old ship off for scrap - which should give her some time and space from her embarrassment, and set her up in the family business.  But it's not long before Ky starts to take matters into her own hands, and accidentally winds up in the middle of a planetary war, where she'll have to use all her military training to survive mercenaries, mutinies, and pirates.

One of the Publisher's Weekly reviews for a book in this series says that Moon is great at action and space battles, but it's "too bad she so frequently drowns them in mundane details that provide realism at the expense of entertainment." I could not have said it better.  I like slow sci-fi books that talk about commerce and boring things (how else could I have made it through the Ancillary  series?) but already in Trading in Danger, it feels like we spent a hundred and fifty pages ramping up to action, and then forty pages on the aftermath - planning funerals, reading mail, arranging a new name record for the ship (I am not making any of that up).  I didn't mind it at the beginning, but it definitely feels like the end is unbearably slow paced, like when people (mostly my family, although I'm sure other people felt the same way) complained that The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King movie had like, ten endings that went on for an hour.  It's a weird pacing problem.  The other problem that Publisher's Weekly had, which I definitely agree with, was that things are set up, and then there's no payoff: like this polo match which is alluded to multiple times like it has meaning, and then is just skipped, or the whole ship model kit that Ky receives from one of her old military instructors which has a secret code in it that she just ignores, but then also happens to have the one part she needs later to re-assemble the ship's beacon. That pissed me off.  Come on!  You can't just be like, here's a mysterious package which has a mysterious part, which turns out to be the one part you need, but we're never going to even talk to the sender or mention him again, or even have consequences of using what is clearly a military beacon on this junk ship.

I'm just not quite convinced enough to keep going.  Based on the reviews, although the rest of the series has more action, they're all plagued with similar issues. 

Treasure Island

Treasure  Island

By Robert Louis Stevenson

The classic adventure tale of buried treasure and pirates, young Jim Hawkins becomes involved in a search for the lost treasure of legendary pirate Captain Flint.  He sails to Treasure Island only to discover the ship's crew is planning to mutiny and kill their passengers after the treasure is found, and his life will depend not only on his own quick wits, but on the uncertain benevolence of Long John Silver, leader of the mutineers.

Despite this book being a classic in just about every sense of the word, I realized very early on that the only thing I knew about it was that the main character was a young child, and there was a bad pirate called Long John Silver who kinda, like, took the kid on an adventure??? In hindsight, I'm pretty sure most of my impressions were generated by Muppet Treasure Island (and like, Swiss Family Robinson, which also involves children and pirates) - which was somewhat problematic, since I've never even seen Muppet Treasure Island.   But I definitely got the idea this was a kids book.  I mean, it was a Disney movie! Uh, sure, like a pirate kids version of And Then There Were None.  As Jim says at end, of their fully staffed ship, only five people made it out alive.   Jim is almost murdered multiple times (although he fears the torture worse) and ends up shooting and killing another pirate.  I'm just saying, at no point did I have any idea of what to expect.

In fact, despite the popular idea that this is a kids book, perhaps because the narrator is a child, and it's short, honestly, it didn't feel very child-like.  I also struggled with the whole intro, in which we meet a variety of pirates whose relationship to each other was less important for Stevenson to describe, than the ominous signs and portents and chills which accompany their actions.  So, I guess I'm pretty sure that the pirate at the beginning was Flint's first mate (we never meet Flint, but everybody talks about him all the time) and had the treasure map, but just wanted... to retire in poverty?  It's unclear to me why he's just camped out at the hotel basically waiting for the other pirates to track him down, but you do you, as the kids say.

Then there's like, Blind Pew and his gang, who are somehow affiliated with Long John and his gang, although they never appear together in the book.  Or maybe they're competing pirate gangs?  All I know is, we meet a whole bunch of pirates in the first fifty pages that never appear again and aren't, actually, relevant to the main story.  Well, I guess they add spice.  And for some reason, Jim and his mom just give the map to the local squire? And then the squire decides Jim will be going on this trip and we never hear about his mother again (except that before they depart, Jim can spend one more night with her - like, was this childcare in the 1800s? Good lord).

And THEN! I was delighted to find out Long John Silver was hired as the cook! Amazing!  It makes the chain restaurant so much more apt!  Other things I was surprised by: the fact that Long John is both a mutineer and like, a triple agent! He actually is the only "good" pirate, even though he's the one that lead the mutiny. And they're more concerned about getting off the island alive than they are in looking for treasure (which does make sense).

Treasure Island has a lot of dialect, and also some like, 1880s sea-faring slang, which makes whole pages at times incomprehensible. In fact, I found the story better when there was less dialogue.  Its beginnings as an action serial are clear.

I will add just as a final note, that having just sailed on a masted schooner, I have no further insights on Treasure Island except to say that the experience is the opposite of restful, such that I had like, waking night terrors for four days following my sail, thinking that I was still rocking gently on the boat and also had no idea where I was.  Maybe that's just me. However, I can certainly understand the desire to mutiny, if only to claim better sleeping quarters.

I had a tough time with this prompt, since "celebrity" and "admire" don't really go hand in hand.  But in addition to the recommendation, I happened to have a very handsome set of adventure stories which I bought two years ago and never opened, so this was the perfect opportunity.

28: A Book Recommended By A Celebrity You Admire 
(Barack Obama)

Salt to the Sea

Salt to the Sea

By Ruta Sepetys

Winter 1945. WWII. Four refugees. Four stories.

Each one born of a different homeland; each one hunted, and haunted, by tragedy, lies, war. As thousands desperately flock to the coast in the midst of a Soviet advance, four paths converge, vying for passage aboard the Wilhelm Gustloff, a ship that promises safety and freedom. But not all promises can be kept . .

I was under a mistaken impression of this book.  I thought it was going to be like All the Light We Cannot See, but it's actually marked "YA" and was very short and easy to read.  Not like, short-short, but all the chapters are like, two pages each.  There's a lot of blank space in the book.  I finished it in less than two hours.  Salt to the Sea takes the viewpoints of four characters: a fifteen year old pregnant Polish girl, a repatriating Lithuanian nurse, a Nazi forger fleeing with treasure, and a budding young sociopath.  

As children's books about WWII go, it's not really breaking much new ground in the ideas that war is hell, Nazis were awful, and crimes against humanity were committed on a massive scale.  Where it does excel is in covering a geographic area and event that doesn't get much press: the sinking (spoiler!) of the Wilhem Gustlof off the coast of what is now Poland. It also focuses more on the shrinking eastern front of the war, as the Russians approached, sowing devastation and rape indiscriminately on whichever women were in their path.  There's also no shying away from the mass rapes committed by the Russians in their march west, as it plays a vital role in Emilia's story.

We spend a lot of time with the refugees just trying to get on to the boat, and relatively little on board, which makes sense, since the ship's journey was only supposed to take two days, and they were sunk ten hours into the trip.  It's a fascinating and engrossing look at the event, but obviously a KYA book can't be all things at once: there's a lot of side plot about Florian stealing bits from the Amber Room which his Nazi mentor hid away, which adds more subplot about another WWII mystery that I don't think the book necessarily needs (especially as Sepetys' tying it in this way is complete speculation), and it cuts what is perhaps the saddest note about the sinking: because it carried some Nazi officials, the boat was not marked as a hospital ship, so under the "rules of war" (what an oxymoron) the sinking of thousands of refugees and civilians was not a war crime.  Not that I think that thousands of women and children fleeing an encroaching army should shield Nazis, but it's such an ironic and poignant detail, I'm sorry that Sepetys wasn't able to work it in somehow.

It's fairly well written, all the parts with Alfred made my skin crawl (intentionally so) although I did kind of love that Hannelore's last proclamation to him was her Jewishness, a last "Fuck you" to the ultimate fuckboy.  The multiple narrators actually worked well for this, as we got both a variety of viewpoints and didn't spend too much time on any one person. 


19: A Book Told From Multiple POVs

Ten Second Reviews

The Best Lies

By Sarah Lyu

Remy's life changes when she meets Elise.  Charismatic Elise, who is determined to right the wrongs of the world, and bring Remy along with her on her quest for justice.  But Elise's history is darker than Remy realizes - and when Remy tries to get away from Elise's plans, the night ends with Elise killing Remy's boyfriend Jack.  But is Elise the aggressor or the victim, or both? This one had some promise.  I thought it was going to be like a real Basic Instinct or Single White Female (note that I haven't actually seen either of these movies, but in today's cultural world, do you even have to, to know what they're about?) but it turned out to just be sad, a tragedy about an abused child who winds up lashing out and then taking a really wild left turn into murder.  Even though the book leads with the shooting, it didn't feel earned by the end.  As ominous and weird as Elise was, the fact that she was actually being beaten bloody by her father meant that whatever else she was, she wasn't a liar, and she wasn't ridiculous for wanting justice/revenge. So the finale where she kills Jack because he threatened to tell people she set a house on fire if she didn't let Remy detach, just feels really out of character.  Not to mention that I cannot for the life of me figure out what any of these people see in Remy.  At several points, I thought the reveal was going to be that Remy was actually the killer, because she was so frigging obsessed with whatever person happened to be cool in her direction most recently. 

Carry On

By Rainbow Rowell

So sue me, I ended up being curious enough from Fangirl to read Rowell's take on Harry Potter fanfic.  In some ways, it's a lot like In Other Lands, another post-HP take on the idea of a child being indoctrinated into a magical school and growing up and making friends (and making out, which is also very important).  Carry On did not thrill me? I mean, you kind of know where everything is going, and who the "Big Bad" is and frankly, things don't happen at all until Baz appears, 150 pages in to a 500 page book.  Because we're meant to think this is the last of a series, there's a lot of describing previous years' adventures, however, because this isn't in fact the last of a series, none of the adventures can be significant at all to this years' adventure, so they're a little bit pointless.  As is the character of Agatha.  I think I sort of get what Rowell was going for, a reversal of the idea that the Chosen One has a Chosen Girlfriend, but Agatha's role seemed limited to being the Debbie Downer of the group - just real unhappy, and ironically enough, existing only to be moved around by the other characters and her life threatened.

In the end, I felt oddly let down by the ending - leaving your magical protagonist powerless and with wings and a devil's tail which have to be made invisible every twelve hours, and permanent magical deadzones seems kind of a downer to me. I don't know if the forthcoming sequel would solve any of those problems, but after reading Carry On, I have little interest in finding out.  It's just not my bag.

Ten Second Reviews

As You Wish: Inconceivable Tales from the Making of The Princess Bride

By Cary Elwes and Jay Layden

Essentially Cary Elwes' behind-the-scenes look at his role and interactions in The Princess Bride, and, although it certainly has the benefit of a built-in, forgiving audience, it also manages to tread the same fine line of the movie, that is: it's sweet without being sappy, funny without being mean, and gentle without being weak.  It gives you the same "This world may be populated with fundamentally good people after all" feeling that The Great British Bake-Off does.  It makes you nostalgic, and definitely in the mood to re-watch the movie.  Even though it's not "juicy", there's plenty to make you feel like you were there during filming, and you do get a sense of the various personalities on set.  A lovely, nostalgic, easy read.

The Extremely Inconvenient Adventures of Bronte Mettlestone

By Jaclyn Moriarty

Ten year-old Bronte receives the news that her mostly absent adventurous parents have been killed by pirates - and that their Last Will and Testament requires her (under pain of her town collapsing) to visit her father's ten aunts and deliver gifts to them.  But as she visits orange orchards, dragon hospitals, cruise ships, water sprites and musical kingdoms, she begins to realize there's more going on that she originally suspected. This one was delightfully plotted - although the generous hints throughout the book mean that you'll probably guess what's happening long before we get to the reveal (except one where I was completely surprised - happily so) there are so many strings and sub-plots that it's never boring.  Plus, in addition to the book-long narrative, each aunt is like a mini-adventure, including a crime puzzle, an avalanche, tidying up for depressed people, fleeing pirates, saving babies, and learning magic.  It's a real confection of a book, as Bronte's instructions include many restaurant recommendations along with travel tips, and the master spell reads like a recipe.  There's some darker points as well, which, although it makes sense there would be, given that the book is about events set in motion by the murder of her parents, does feel a little off sometimes, given the upbeat and candy-colored attitude the rest of the book has.  Given the large cast of characters, it also doesn't get confusing or crowded, and it's a pleasant and ultimately feel-good way to spend an afternoon. 

Hot Dog Girl

Hot Dog Girl

By Jennifer Dugan

Elouise (Lou) Parker is determined to have the absolute best, most impossibly epic summer of her life. There are just a few things standing in her way:

  *  She's landed a job at Magic Castle Playland . . . as a giant dancing hot dog.

  *  Her crush, the dreamy Diving Pirate Nick, already has a girlfriend, who is literally the Princess of the park. But Lou's never liked anyone, guy or otherwise, this much before, and now she wants a chance at her own happily ever after.

  *  Her best friend, Seeley, the carousel operator, who's always been up for anything, suddenly isn't when it comes to Lou's quest to set her up with the perfect girl or Lou's scheme to get close to Nick.

  *  And it turns out that this will be their last summer at Magic Castle Playland--ever--unless she can find a way to stop it from closing.

I'm doing this one out of order, because the prompt is seasonal, and I figured why not squeeze the review in seasonally too?

So although I didn't love Hot Dog Girl, I am allowing myself to be charmed by it, and I will not be too harsh.  I mean, it's just a light summer read about a girl learning about falling in love, treating your friends right, not being down on yourself all the time, and becoming a little more grown up and mature.  Not like, real mature though, the book ends in a bake sale after all, but it's a cute enough story, done with a light hand.

I gravitated towards it because I love hot dogs and wanted a book for summer that was really about summer - summer as you always remember it fondly years later with endless days and warm nights when you're able to roam the town. Mosquito bites and shorts and beaches and the smell of sun screen and bug spray and the feeling of freedom.  Adult books about summer are mostly about indiscretions on Cape Cod during a rich people get-together or "finding yourself" in a new place after your husband divorces you.  Not quite the same thing.  Summer is my favorite season, but summer as a child, not summer as an adult, where you still have work in over air-conditioned offices, and only get brief tastes of the freedom you used to feel. Although you do occasionally get to participate in hot-dog eating contests, so it's not all disappointment as an adult.

Anyway, Hot Dog Girl does have that same nostalgic sense of summer freedom and loss, in this case because the fun park she's working at is going to close, which is nicely obvious metaphor for the closing of that period in your life where you can still go home again. Everything moves on!  You grow up and visit the old haunts and realize the water slide has become a parking lot for a pharmaceutical company and you just have to deal with it.  Or like in Grosse Pointe Blank, when your home has become an Ultimart. "You can never go home again... but I guess you can shop there."

Lou is a fictional character and also only like, seventeen, so the fact that she doesn't realize that her bonkers plan to fake date her best friend to get closer to this guy she has a crush on is going to end in her realizing she's actually in love with her best friend is more forgiveable.  I suppose she doesn't have access to tv tropes like the rest of us.  Or like, to Can't Buy Me Love and To All The Boys I've Loved Before.  I was so-so on this part.  It was pretty telegraphed what was going to happen, but Nick (her crush) turns out to be nice and into her, and I felt kind of bad at the end when he winds up telling her that he moved to town to get away from bullies and then he ends up alone, after both his girlfriend and his crush find new partners.  Seeley, Lou's best friend, has a more limited arc, since her role is mainly to be the ever-patient friend who's been in love with Lou forever and puts up with her shenanigans. 

But like I said, it's all done with a light enough hand, and Lou never becomes so annoying with her antics that you end up rooting against her.  They all re-partner, they don't save the park, but they raise money for the owner's sick granddaughter, and much lessons are learned about meddling, self-confidence, and friendship.  The parts about Lou's mother leaving are well done, and the mental image of her in a hot dog costume is never not funny. More hot dogs, is what I say!

44: Read A Book During The Season It Is Set In

Fangirl

Fangirl

By Rainbow Rowell

Cath is a Simon Snow fan. Okay, the whole world is a Simon Snow fan, but for Cath, being a fan is her life-and she's really good at it. She and her twin sister, Wren, ensconced themselves in the Simon Snow series when they were just kids; it's what got them through their mother leaving.

Reading. Rereading. Hanging out in Simon Snow forums, writing Simon Snow fan fiction, dressing up like the characters for every movie premiere.

Cath's sister has mostly grown away from fandom, but Cath can't let go. She doesn't want to.
Now that they're going to college, Wren has told Cath she doesn't want to be roommates. Cath is on her own, completely outside of her comfort zone. She's got a surly roommate with a charming, always-around boyfriend, a fiction-writing professor who thinks fan fiction is the end of the civilized world, a handsome classmate who only wants to talk about words . . . And she can't stop worrying about her dad, who's loving and fragile and has never really been alone.

For Cath, the question is: Can she do this? Can she make it without Wren holding her hand? Is she ready to start living her own life? And does she even want to move on if it means leaving Simon Snow behind?

This was one of those that I wanted to like more - in fact, I did like well enough, until the second half of the book and I just kept feeling disappointed by the characters. It just felt like things kind of... petered out at the end.

We're introduced to "Cath" Cather, and her co-dependence on her twin sister, Wren from page one, as Cath moves into her college dorm.  I suppose the book could be about separating from your twin, growing up and staying friends, and managing your relationships, but it kind of just feels like Cath replaced Wren with co-dependent relationships with roommate Regan and especially with boyfriend, Levi.

[Sidebar: I really disliked Levi.  He was intrusive, demanding, and the age difference (and especially the maturity difference) between him and Cath gave the whole thing a much creepier vibe than I think the author intended.  It reminded me of Twilight: why would this older guy who appears to have his shit (mostly) together, be interested in this weird, asocial, mouse?  I just never got the sense that they were romantically compatible.  And also, it is fucking weird to start dating your older roommate's older ex-boyfriend while you literally live in the same room. It felt more like a relationship of opportunity than anything else.  "This guy is friendly to me and won't leave me alone, I guess I may as well date him."]

I spent some time in my last review hating on Cath, and I suppose I may as well continue here too.  I swear it was a total accident that I am reading two books with such related underlying themes (draggy girl who uses her fun twin sister as a crutch and has mommy issues tries to cope with her sister's emotional separation) although it's fun to spot the similarities and differences (different sisters wind up needing hospitalization! grandmothers have to fill in for absent mothers! fathers are helpless and hapless! you kinda root for the other sister!).

This may be my personal bias, but the Simon Snow excerpts sounded more interesting than the Fangirl story, and I'm clearly not the only one, since Rowell's gone on to write separate books just on the fanfiction.  It's obviously a Harry Potter take-off, but Harry Potter is one of the most successful stories ever, for good reason.  It's captivating!

Meanwhile, in Fangirl, it feels a little bit like Wren is meant to be the bad sister, just because she wants to get away from the human leech that is Cath.  I don't know if Rowell's intent was to suggest that both sisters are coping horribly with their mother's departure in different but equally terrible ways (Wren by drinking and partying, Cath by never leaving her room), but after a few weeks distance from the book, what it feels like is that Wren got punished for wanting to be more social, with a trip to the hospital for alcohol poisoning, and Cath was, well, kinda vindicated that she'd been right about Wren and her father all along. Which seems unfair, since Cath was just as messed up as any of them, and yet she's the only one who doesn't wind up in a hospital.  It just feels to me like Cath needed to do a lot of growing up herself, and I just didn't really see that she did. 

17: A Book Set On A College Or University Campus

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian

By Sherman Alexie

Sherman Alexie tells the story of Junior, a budding cartoonist growing up on the Spokane Indian Reservation. Determined to take his future into his own hands, Junior leaves his troubled school on the rez to attend an all-white farm town high school where the only other Indian is the school mascot.

Heartbreaking, funny, and beautifully written, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, which is based on the author's own experiences, coupled with poignant drawings by Ellen Forney that reflect the character's art, chronicles the contemporary adolescence of one Native American boy as he attempts to break away from the life he was destined to live.

As the young folks say, this one made me feel all the feels, but I was disappointed to find out, when trying to look up how much of this "based on the author's life" book was true or fiction, that Sherman Alexie apparently has a sexual harassment problem.  Also, that he didn't draw the illustrations in the book! I feel very let down by both of those.  So I am left struggling with how much to like it.

It's certainly a very moving book, a portrait of a young man who doesn't deserve all the shit hurtling his way, over and over and over.  We know, by virtue of the fact that we're reading this as a book by Sherman Alexie, that he does in fact make it off the reservation and find success (albeit ultimately brought low by his dick).  That doesn't really make all the things that happen to him any better, but at least you get some hope for the future.

Alexie's style is well suited to the story - matter of fact and poignant without being maudlin.  He straddles the line well, and it's both a fast read as well as genuinely moving.  Alexie manages to lay out a lot of the reasons the reservations are failing the people, without being preachy or pointing fingers. Not that fingers shouldn't be pointed, because the history of American Indian policy in the United States is a total shitshow, but it helps keep the story running smoothly.

Is this book on its own, a good and worthy book?  Yes, for sure.  But how much do we separate out the art from the artist?  How much leniency do we grant for a childhood of hardship?  How do we support a person who uses his fame and fortune in bad ways? And perhaps, only "middling" bad, on a minor scale.  I mean, I only checked it out of the library, so it's not like I'm funding genocide.  But it did color my impressions, and it really disappointed me.  And it's well-nigh impossible to be absolutely saintly in this - it seems like you would never be able to live a life in the modern era that doesn't benefit some asshole somewhere.  I suppose that's the credo to The Good Place - in this life and times, how can we always do good?  And what is the better good - boycotting a gross person, or reading a work of art and enlightenment and potentially learning something yourself in the process?

All we can hope for is the same energy and drive to continue to better ourselves that Junior has. 

43: An "Own Voices" Book

The Here and Now

The Here and Now,  by Ann Brashares

Follow the rules. Remember what happened. Never fall in love.

This is the story of seventeen-year-old Prenna James, who immigrated to New York when she was twelve. Except Prenna didn’t come from a different country. She came from a different time—a future where a mosquito-borne illness has mutated into a pandemic, killing millions and leaving the world in ruins.

Prenna and the others who escaped to the present day must follow a strict set of rules: never reveal where they’re from, never interfere with history, and never, ever be intimate with anyone outside their community. Prenna does as she’s told, believing she can help prevent the plague that will one day ravage the earth.

But everything changes when Prenna falls for Ethan Jarves.   - From Goodreads

I am totally going to use this review as an excuse to tell you my deepest darkest secret:  that I actually cried a little when I read the first Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants book.  I was younger, and more foolish, and did not even realize that one kid was dying (I'm also really bad at figuring out the culprit in Agatha Christie mysteries.  But I enjoy the reveal!).  But then I read the second Pants book and was like, "Meh" because my cold cold heart is two sizes too small.  And didn't even attempt any of the others.  So I kinda noticed that Here and Now was by the same author, but in no way should you be put off by that.  Brashares knows what she's doing.

So this is a pretty thin book both literally and figuratively.  For a time-travel book, it's relatively straightforward.  However, sometimes that's a bad thing, like, say, in time-travel.  It's such a common trope, and there's so many different variations out there, that being straightforward means that people are going to catch some of those holes you didn't sew up.  For example, in this book, it's never exactly explained [SPOILERS!!!!!!!]  why 

OH, sidebar!  I had to return Here and Now to the library this weekend, so I no longer have the book.  And I don't really remember anyone's names, so from now on, we will be addressing the characters as: Prenna, Ethan, Prenna's mom, Prenna's dad, the elders, the scientist lady, and that one guy who goes around giving people plague VD and kicking off the terrible future will be referred to as "Andrew".  That might even be his name in the book.

Andrew kills Prenna's dad.  Whyyyyy?  I know Prenna's dad was researching him, but did Andrew find out about it?  Was Prenna's dad just really bad at realizing the person he had been following was now following him?  And why at that (suspiciously convient, plot-wise) particular moment did he strike?  I may have been reading too quickly, but I really feel like that could have been better explained. 

And also, I love that both Prenna's dad and Prenna and Ethan's reaction to the news that this murder would set off a chain of events which would destroy the environment, kill 75% of the population, and force everyone to wear used clothes was, "Guess we just wait till May 17th and see what happens!"  How is that a plan?  Prenna's dad knew who was responsible for the murder.  He also knew who this guy was shacking up with.  Like, how hard would it have been to go track the murderer down and like, pay some guys to decapitate him?  Well, okay, maybe not that, but somehow permanently disable him.  Instead he's like, I'll just kick around for a few years, sleeping on street corners and spying on my wife and kid, while being really suspicious and dropping mysterious information to my daughter's friend.

And this is not really relevant, but I was disappointed when Prenna was all, "Ethan was the important one, not that lady scientist."  Why can't lady scientists get any love around here?  And it was never explained to my satisfaction why Ethan would have been with the lady scientist before the time shift: okay, Ethan is there, and then Andrew shoots him because he has daddy issues, and then the future is shitty and Prenna's group comes back in time, and then Ethan sees her come through the time warp and gets interested in, like, wormholes.  So if Prenna's pop-in is the basis for his interest (which it seems like they're saying it is) then why was he hanging with the lady scientist before everything got set in motion?  It just seems unnecessary to say that the impact of Prenna and his first meeting is what got him into it, particularly when it screws up the internal logic of the book.

Despite all the flaws, I have to admit that I still enjoyed it. I think mostly because I kept expecting it to be all teen-romance-y, since, like, the entire first half totally foreshadowed it, but in the end, they were like, "Well, I might give you the equivalent of smallpox blankets and wipe out human existence as we know it, so.... no."  Which was a mature and responsible (albeit unexpected) decision.  So in the end, I think we learned a valuable lesson, that maybe it's not always a bad thing to kill some kid by drowning and then claim it was an accident because he snuggled up to some outsider.  I mean, the jacket blurb and the book act like the ban on intimacy with outsiders is just crazy elders getting their despotism on, when in point of fact, intimacy is totally the cause of the plague.  I like that.  I would have been all frustrated if the book ended up being, "A bunch of older, experienced people made up these crazy laws, but the power of teen love conquered all!" 

Although, let's be real, is Brashares saying the end of human life on earth was the result of an STD? Or, well, something that is transmitted only when people live together? That seems... unlikely.  I think if Brashares really wanted to scare teen into not having sex, she should have given everyone Ebola.  Now there's a terrifying virus.  AND HAVE YOU SEEN THAT IT'S COMING FOR US? Bless the doctors and nurses and other medical and emergency personnel who are working to help those infected, because (as you may know) the idea of being infected with Ebola makes all reasonable people want to curl up into a ball on the floor and just start sobbing.  In fact, the highly likely possibility that Ebola will continue to outbreak and spread across the world in my lifetime makes me want to curl up in a ball and start sobbing.  Goodbye friends and family, goodbye cruel world. I mean, they're saying that this is the worst outbreak in seven years.  Seven years?!  That's it?!  Some people haven't even learned how to read by age 7!  You still don't know how to tie your shoes properly!    Seven years.  That's not any time at all! And this is just the worst outbreak in seven years, that doesn't mean Ebola hasn't just been gently marinating and killing people off in the meantime.  Maybe when we've gotten to ten years virus-free I'll stop worrying about dying in a soup of my own brains.  

Despite some problems, I actually didn't mind Here and Now (I see that some goodreads reviewers disagree, bless them.  That one review by Khanh, destroyer of dreams is epic) but if this type of story is what you're interested in, read Rebecca Stead's vastly superior When You Reach Me instead.  Even though it's about (and aimed at) younger readers, it's smarter, tighter, and much more moving than Here and Now. 


 

Grave Mercy

Grave Mercy, by Robin LaFevers

Escaping from the brutality of an arranged marriage, seventeen year-old Ismae finds sanctuary at the convent of St. Mortain, where the sisters still serve the gods of old.  Here she learns that the god of Death himself has blessed her with dangerous gifts - and a  violent destiny.  If she chooses to stay at the convent, she will be trained as an assassin and serve as handmaiden to Death.  To claim her new life, she must be willing to take the lives of others.

Ismae's most important assignment takes her straight into the high court of Brittany, where she must pose as mistress to the darkly mysterious Gavriel Duval, who has fallen under a cloud of suspicion.  Once there, she finds herself woefully underprepared - not only for the deadly games of love and intrigue, but for the impossible choices she must make.  For how can she deliver Death's vengeance upon a target who, against her will, has stolen her heart?

So Grave Mercy has gotten quite a few good reviews, and I guess I am a little hard pressed to say why. It's fine, don't get me wrong, but it's not a miracle of writing, and there are quite a few things I really didn't enjoy about it.  It begins with Ismae's very short-lived marriage (which, since I'm pretty sure she never gets divorced, means she's still married throughout the book.  Which: odd).  Soon enough, her new husband discovers that she has some serious scar/birthmark issues going on, and decides that she needs to be burned at the stake - I get that the birthmark means that the god of Death is her father, but why that is such a huge problem is not really ever explained.  So the local herbwitch smuggles her out to the convent where she can accept her destiny as La Femme Nikita, 1485-style, or marry some random guy.  Hmm, tough decision.

So in the convent she finds out that she is immune to poison, and I am already sensing that the Mary Sue is strong with this one.  It's a feeling that lasts much longer than it should, considering.  She meets some other novitiates, trains up, and goes out on her first assignment, and let me tell you, this girl thinks she is hot shit.  I don't know what kind of brainwashing they do at the convent, but there is way too much of "Kill first, ask questions later" for Ismae to be as confident as she is.  She's on her first assignment!  Which she almost screws up.  I don't care how much you train, when you go out into the real world and are expected to produce results for the first time, you get nervous.  And I think it's flaw in the character that she's not nervous - it makes her seem stupid, for not being nervous, and it makes her harder to relate to. 

The second place I got tripped up at is when she gets sent out with this Gavriel Duval guy on assignment.  Why this chick gets sent out with him is beyond me.  She has gone on a total of two (2) assignments, both of which she very narrowly avoided botching, and, as we discover later, she is both unprepared for real world scenarios, and totally susceptible to deeply wounded backstories.  It would make sense if (PLOT SPOILERS UP AHEAD) as we discover later, Crunard's master plan involves somehow using a novitiate assassin as some sort of  scape goat.  But he's not, as far as I can tell.  Why the abbess didn't insist on sending someone with a) more experience and b) more loyalty to the convent, I just don't know.  I understand that Crunard was the bad guy, and he was using the abbess as well, but it's kind of like, either she totally trusts Crunard, which, since we're told to suspect anyone else, I don't know why he would be above suspicion, or she doesn't, in which case, she needs to tell Ismae to watch out for everyone.  By not uniting against Crunard, the only thing the convent accomplished is alienating Ismae, who, although probably not their star pupil, still represents a significant amount of time and energy spent molding her into this ninja assassin. 

Do not even get me started on the poisons and the weapons.

Plus, I could not figure out if this convent is supposed to be well-known, secret, or what?  Like, I am so sure that the court of Brittany just allows these ladies to train young women as killers. VERY PLAUSIBLE.  And yet, everyone seems to know what the convent of St. Mortain means.  So, I guess, that like, no one is concerned that there's a gaggle of assassins running around? And no one thinks it would be a good idea to maybe...send them off to kill a bunch of people in France?  I guess I'm just confused about this whole target thing, which may end up being better explained in later books: if the god is picking targets, why is he so focused on like, state politics?  I understand that apparently a free Brittany = continued worship, but (1) that doesn't even sound like it's right, since the new duchess of Brittany totally says that Mortain is a saint, not a god, implying that the leader of Brittany doesn't support the old gods as is anyhow, and (2) I would think that just knowing that there's a pack of wild young ladies avenging wrongs in the name of Mortain would be enough to make people leery of not doing their best to stay on his good side. And if he's not picking targets, then why the visions and the marque and all that? It just feels very thin.

Okay, and before I try to temper this review with why the book is "fine", I want to get one more thing out of my system: lack of humor.  I mean, this book needs some levity, and it doesn't even have to be like, Ismae cracking out wicked bad puns after she kills someone, a la James Bond.  I just mean, like, banter, or something a little bit to relieve the unending tension. 

Okay: things I liked: I enjoyed the idea that there was a closeness between the three new novitiates, although honestly, it was more of a tell than a show.  Because the book necessarily skips quite a bit of training time, I feel like the scenes in which Annith, Ismae, and Sybella really bond get left by the wayside.  I mean, we see Ismae talk Sybella off the ledge (figuratively and literally) and then the next thing we know, Sybella's been off on a month's long assignment, and while I did get a sense that the three were close, I felt that part could have been stronger.  (So it's a back handed compliment, so what?) 

I also liked how the book ended - given that there are, as I said, three new novitiates, and this is a planned trilogy, I don't think I'm reaching too far to say that each book will center on one of them.  The next one is Sybella, I believe.  So Grave Mercy did a good job of wrapping up Ismae's story line and getting her to a place of, if not absolute resolution, at least temporary resting so that we can look in on the other girls and see how they're doing.  I am intrigued by the other two ladies, and while it's never a good idea to want to know more about a secondary character than the primary one, it does at least bode well for follow-up books.

So it's a fairly standard book, not offensive, but the focus on the relationship between Gavriel and Ismae to the detriment of world-building is both a strength and a weakness: strength in the sense that there are many questions and avenues for the next two books, weak in the sense that you just get a sense of absurdity  and implausibility about some of it. And in a world where fourteen year old girls get sent to assassin training school in medieval France, you need to ensure you keep as much plausibility as you can or else the whole thing is a three ring circus.

The Brides of Rollrock Island

The Brides of Rollrock Island, by Margo Lanagan

On remote Rollrock Island, men make their living - and fetch their wives - from the sea.  The witch Misskaella knows how to find the girl at the heart of a seal.  She'll coax a beauty from the beast for any man, for a price.  And what man wouldn't want a sea-wife, to have and to hold, and to keep by his side forever?

But though he may tell himself that he is the master, one look in his new bride's eyes will transform him just as much as it changes her.  Both will be ensnared - and the witch will look on, laughing. 

I've re-started this review, like, five times, and you all are damn lucky that I did because this morning I was high on some fabulous music, and that never turns out well.  A whole lotta shakin' goin' on.  I've gotten pretty far from the mood I was in when I finished this book, a week ago.  I definitely thought that more time would assist in my writing a "review" but clearly that was a wash. 

Moving on:  So TBoRI, henceforth to be abbreviated to. . . Bride Island.  Because nothing says appreciation like being too lazy to fully type out a title.  And I did appreciate this book!  Actually, I had bypassed it in the library because the description and the cover (I know, I know, never judge a book by its cover, what up) kinda said "melodramatic teen girl dramaz" and I was not in the mood for it.  But my momma recommended it, and momma says, baby do. 

The book starts with a brief vignette, before going back in time to Misskaella's youth - the constant teasing and comments from her siblings and townsfolk, condemning her for her otherness (apparently, the entire island is redheaded and kinky, except for Misskaella, which begs the question of how closely related they all are that a recessive gene is town gossip). So anyhow, Misskaella doesn't really fit in, and people give her crap all the time about how she is shaped like a seal, which means that when she is left without financial support, she doesn't really care two hoots about the probable negative consequences to creating human ladies out of seals for the horny menfolk.  (This review is getting out of hand, y'all. BUT I CAN'T STOP).

Okay, the good part of this book is that things will happen, and you'll kinda go, "How are we going to extricate ourselves from this sitch?" Because each step in this path just gets more and more untenable.  From drawing brides out of the seals, to the women abandoning their former husbands on the island, to the sealbaby hybrids growing up and there being no daughters and and and.  It's just not a workable long term plan is what I'm saying.  And yet each new development comes naturally, and never at any point do you go, Well, If I had a deus ex machina, I could get away with some crazy shit too.  It's of a piece.  There is not one false note, one piece which removes you from the story and makes you question it.  To be awfully maudlin, you are wrapped up in the tale as much as the mams are wrapped up in skins. 

TBoRI is an interesting look at gender politics.  I maintain that the reason the men were so transfixed by the selkies is that there was witch magic involved as well, but my mother thinks that the men were simply weak willed.  The difference between an optimist and a pessimist, I think.  It's hard to forget that horrifying scene wherein the men begin bringing back the selkies wholesale, and the father reveals that he's been stashing this selkie in a small back shed next to the house where his wife and children live.  It definitely hearkens to those awful sex slavery cases in real life, and Connie Willis' All My Darling Daughters, where you're sacrificing a creature not fully human to sexual abuse and base desires. Some people complain that of all the perspectives in the narrative (variously the witch, a child, and a man) there is none which comes from the brides themselves.  I think it's well done, because the brides themselves are so wholly disenfranchised, so completely without recourse or a voice in the chain of events which occur.  One of the only times we see a selkie taking her own initiative, she is running into the sea, killing herself over her heartbreak. 

When you finish, you feel as though you've learned something, but it's hard to say exactly what that is - be kinder, perhaps, to the ones around you, don't hold onto to something so hard that you choke the life out of it - if you love something, set it free.  Even after the great pied piper migration, after things begin re-setting themselves, you wonder at whether things have really changed. It's clear that some men are still so hard as to be glad that their former brides are being hunted as animals and rendered down, as Lanagan puts it. 

The book is balanced such that it's poetical enough to seem a dream, but real enough to stick with you after you close it.  It's the mark of a well-written book that a simple, toss-away phrase in the first page strikes you so much that you hold it in mind for the rest of the book.  When I was looking for it again, I almost couldn't find it, it was so wrapped up in a paragraph.  It's a far cry from some books which are only keeping me half interested, skimming and skipping over the prose. You feel salted afterwards, so real is the sea breeze.

So, TBoRI is a wonder, sure enough, though as I expressed to my mother, it did not make me sob, and therefore, was not close to catching Jellicoe Road in my heart.  It is hard enough to forget, that's for sure.  And certainly not a teen melodrama at all. And let that be a lesson to you: listen to your mama, and if she yearns for the sea, let her be.